Over the past 16 years, I have completed over 40 marathons worldwide: Boston, St. Louis, Stockholm, Chicago, Dublin and L.A. to name a few. I keep coming back to the 26.2 mile event as I am infected by the positive spirit of the day and the special fellowship between athletes. But lately, I’ve noticed in the field a growing population of chronic complainers that often spoil it for others and even give runners a bad name.

Typically, the mania starts at the expo. I’ve seen marathoners push and tackle each other whenever “free stuff” becomes available. You’d swear these people had never seen a T-shirt before in their lives. Then the litany of woe begins: “The pasta dinner is too pricey! What, no beer garden? Are you kidding me?! Last year’s long-sleeve was much better than this. Can you believe this hotel? The rooms are really crappy this year.” And on it goes.

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As this year’s Feb. 14th holiday approaches, I think about my loved ones, family and close friends. I’d like to say that I shared my first Valentine with the most popular boy in the class but I am pretty sure it wasn’t the case. Most likely my first, “Will You Be Mine” note went to my 1st grade BFF, Terri Trespicio. Terri and I were inseparable growing up. We shared our dreams, our lunch, our notes and all of our secrets. I recently came upon this photo of Terri and me from 3rd grade and was reminded of how fortunate I am to still have her near. After forwarding this picture to her, she agreed to compose a “This I Believe” type essay in honor of us:

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Over five years ago I attended a women’s surf camp in Mexico where I met my now dear friend, Kendra. It’s her birthday this month and over cake, we were reminiscing about the comedy surrounding the trip. Neither of us graduated from the camp with a Laird Hamilton medal, but we did find one thing true: wiping out while riding waves is pure bliss. We spent the week together with tears streaming down our faces as we laughed at ourselves. We both realized how fun the sport was, especially if you’re not good at it. Getting pounded by surf as we paddled out and tried to talk, caused us to drink most of Sayulita bay. I went into the trip wanting to sharpen my skills but soon realized that the best surfer is truly the one having the most fun. 

When I ask my clients, “Are there any activities in which you now participate that cause you to lose track of time?” most have to stop and think about it. If the individual is looking to fill their leisure time, brainstorm new ways to get motivated around exercise, or simply longing to lighten up, I try to appeal to their sense of fun. But it isn’t always easy to find. 

What happens to our play on our way to becoming adults?

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About five years ago, my father passed away. I still think about him almost every day, but especially this time of the year when his anniversary rolls around. He was well known and liked in the community where he lived with my mother in New Jersey. Fiercely proud of both his German and Irish ancestry, he always walked in the Annual South Orange St. Patrick’s Day Parade wearing a green tie & a German hunting hat.

With my sister and brothers, I will sometimes reminisce about the small idiosyncrasies that made him our dad. The bulging pants pockets, filled with keys. The wallet held together with 3 elastic bands (this despite the drawer full of new ones we had given him over the years as gifts). The baseball hat perched atop his head (never on his head), reflective of his time in the military. His distrust of anything resembling a main road (his old trucks weren’t bred for the highways).

He was, like many of his generation, a man of few words. But when he did speak, it was usually to impart some wisdom or practical piece of advice. As I’ve gotten older, I have come to appreciate many of his great aphorisms, which remain lodged in my mind like an old song. With this New Year upon us, I thought I’d share some of his “greatest hits” which may help you in setting your priorities for 2010.

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 “If there is one thing that I can teach you,” my father used to say “it’s that you gotta remember to laugh every day.” Research has shown the health benefits of laughter ranging from strengthening the immune system to reducing food cravings to increasing one's threshold for pain. Having a sense of humor about life’s difficulties can provide a way to bond with others, look at things in a different way, normalize your experience, and keep things from appearing too overwhelming or scary. Properly developed, a good sense of humor can also keep relationships strong.

I try to find levity in the day-to-day by gravitating towards individuals who have a sense of humor, movies that are light, and activities that put a smile on my face. One of my dear friends, Maureen Langan (ML), is a master at the craft. She is one of the most fearlessly funny comics working today. Her honesty, high energy, and ability to rant on life’s absurdities make her a standout at clubs and theaters across the country. Here’s what makes this feisty female chuckle:

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