Last month I delivered a presentation at Morgan Stanley on the subject of “recharging your batteries.” In preparation for the topic, I reviewed The Power Of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr. This book speaks to the idea of properly managing your energy – not your time – as the key to personal renewal and great performance.

“Full engagement,” as defined by Schwartz, is to be physically energized, emotionally connected, mentally focused and spiritually aligned with a purpose beyond our immediate self-interest. But according to a 2001 Gallup study, less than 30% of Americans feel they are fully engaged at work. Some 55% are “not engaged” at all. Another 19% are “actively disengaged,” meaning that they regularly share those negative feelings with colleagues. Worse yet, the longer employees stay with organizations, the less engaged they become.

The costs of a disengaged workforce run into the trillions of dollars, not to mention the personal cost in terms of loss of energy and lack of joy. Think about your own life for a minute. Have you ever been involved with a project (personal or professional) in which you were fully engaged? How did you feel? You probably had boundless energy, right? That’s the power of full engagement, and that’s the sweet spot that you want to hit more often in your work, your life, your relationships. To learn more, I recently connected with Tony Schwartz (TS) on this topic. Tony is the founder and CEO of the The Energy Project.

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Have you ever had one of those mornings where nothing seems to go your way? You miss the train because some knucklehead has jammed the ticket machine with bubblegum. Someone cuts you off in traffic, causing you to miss your exit. The bus pulls away just as you reach the stop, the rear wheels splashing your brand new suit with a lovely stripe of dirty slush. I’ve personally been in all three circumstances, and in the moment, it’s hard not to feel angry.

Then the blame game begins: “If it weren’t for that tourist fumbling at the token booth, I could have caught the subway on time.” “Reckless drivers should be banned from the road. They ruin it for everyone!” You imagine giving that bus driver a piece of your mind, should you ever see him again. “I know he saw me,” you tell yourself.  “And still he closed the door in my face. What a jerk!”

You haven’t even reached work yet, and already you’re exhausted. Emotional responses like these can become habitual – if we’re not careful. But here’s the thing: you cannot control the ticket vending machine, traffic, or who drives the bus – but you ARE in command of your emotional response to these situations as they arise. Do not give away your power to people or situations over which you have no control. Be an actor, not a reactor.

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One of my clients, (we’ll call him “Tony”), recently shared frustrations about his work situation. He was demoralized in the wake of a presentation that his boss felt was below par. Tony felt he had put a lot of work into preparing for this event, and the result of all this effort resulted in a lowly “C” grade from his manager, when he expected an “A.” Naturally, Tony felt discredited and disheartened. After a painful post-mortem with his boss, he went immediately online to search for another opportunity. With his ego bruised and his confidence shot, a new job seemed like the only sensible solution. Sound familiar?

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“Make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver, the other gold.” If you've ever pledged Scouts, you will recognize this little ditty.  I have certainly committed it to memory. It came up for me recently when I reminded a client about the importance of maintaining positive references. As a former executive search agent, I sometimes marvel at how often this basic principal gets overlooked. Before forging ahead, it is absolutely vital for candidates to secure good references from their old employers. It is an integral part of the hiring process and doing so will only make the candidate look more professional.

Consider the following scenario:  You are a clean-cut, well-dressed, mature, driven and intelligent individual. You have followed all the rules in climbing the corporate ladder. Chances are, you graduated with a finance degree from an Ivy League School in less than four years and thereafter with an MBA from one of the finest institutions on the East Coast. Indeed, your resume shines with perfection. You interview for a position that fits you like a glove.  During the final round of interviews, you are asked for a list of your job references and you are told that the firm “will be back in touch shortly.”  Days and weeks go by without any news.  Although you trust there is a logical reason for the radio silence, there’s a very good chance that a reference came back with negative feedback. In most instances, even the smallest hint of a “red flag” for the company profiling you, is alarming enough to prevent an offer being made. What to do?

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