Last weekend, on a beautiful Spring Day, I stopped briefly to watch a scene unfold on a baseball diamond in the middle of Central Park. Two local teams faced off in a hotly contested Little League game (this is New York – everything is hotly contested!). 

As one young boy got up to bat, I noticed his father pacing nervously near the dugout, yelling out instructions. When he finally struck out, costing his team the game, the young boy threw his bat against the fence in a fit of pique, and stormed off the field. The father tried in vain to console him. “But I already told you,” the boy admonished his father, “I’m no good at this! Forget it. I can’t.” Now I’m sure this young boy was good at lots of things, but in this moment, he felt like a total failure.

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Intensive Workshop with Ann Mehl and Michele Woodward

The rules of work have changed.

No job is secure any more.

But the only person with power over your career is you.

Whether you are looking at a total career overhaul, or simply a mid-
career tune up, join us for a one day intensive workshop on Career Invention.

Give us 3 hours and we’ll give you the tools to:

- Gain clarity and conviction on your goals

- Develop a plan to get started

- Expand your thinking about the possibilities of work 

WHEN: May 15, 1-4pm
WHERE: IGC, 16 West 23^rd Street, 4^th Floor
COST: $179; Refreshments will be served.
REGISTER HERE 

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When I work with my clients, I often refer to myself as their “accountability” or “sparring” partner. As a coach, I connect on a weekly basis with individuals as a means to ensure that they have acted on their good intentions as they plot a course toward future goals. Holding them responsible for the completion of an action step is only a small part of the value of following up.

The main reason I check on my tribe is to support the creation of new long-term habits that will ultimately improve their performance. One way that I do this is through the FEELING model as coined by author David Rock in his book Quiet Leadership. David’s FEELING acronym stands for Facts, Emotions, Encouragement, Learning, Implications, and New Goals.

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I was recently surprised, after reading Self-Promotion for Introverts by Nancy Ancowitz, to learn that introverts comprise about half the population. And, according to an article in USA Today, 4 in 10 top executives are introverts. In fact, the article offers Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Charles Schwab and Steven Spielberg as examples. Add comedian Jerry Seinfeld to the list. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, he shares that he is an introvert: “I love people, but I can’t talk to them. Onstage, I can.”

As a coach, I find that a number of my clients lie closer on the spectrum to introversion than extroversion. How do I know? If I haven’t conducted a Myers-Briggs assessment on the client, I reference the below named attributes*. Which list describes you more than 50 percent of the time?

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One of my clients (we’ll call him George) came to me because he wanted to lose weight. He desperately wanted to lose weight. Over the course of ten years sitting behind a desk, he had gradually packed on an extra fifty pounds which, he painfully admitted, had become an encumbrance. His knees and back bothered him most of the time and he was often winded. With a very demanding work schedule involving a lot of travel, room service, business dinners – there was scarcely any time left for his wife and three children, let alone for self-care. I suggested a shift in his priorities might be in order if he was to be serious about tackling his weight loss goal. “But I don’t have time to exercise!” he protested. It’s a familiar refrain that most working adults can identify with.

After looking at some of the reasons why he might like to lose the weight, he confessed that the real motivation was that he was afraid he would not be around for his kids as they got older. Not only that, but he was envious of other dads with greater energy who, unlike him, were able to chase after their toddlers in the park without serious risk of a heart attack. At last, we were getting somewhere. Like a lot of men his age, George was torn between what he saw as providing for his family, and being with his family. “I commute 3 hours door-to-door, I work 10 hours a day, where am I gonna get an hour to spend at the gym?” he asked pointedly.

As a banker, George understood better than most the principles of saving and investment. I suggested he think of exercise as time invested rather than time spent. Why is it that when someone is working themselves into an early grave (as George clearly was), we say they are “investing” in the future? But when someone makes working out a priority, they are “spending” time at the gym? Maybe this is part of the problem. To George’s way of thinking, hours spent exercising was a luxury he simply couldn’t afford. I suggested otherwise: it is a down payment towards his future that he needed to make NOW.

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