If you own a computer or read the news, you’ve probably heard of the “two Steves” – Jobs and Wozniak, who founded Apple Computers in 1976. Far less likely is that you’ve heard of Ron Wayne. He designed the Apple logo and along with Steve Jobs and Wozniak, was one of the original founding partners in Apple. Afraid that their new startup computer company would fail, Ron sold back his 10% stake in Apple for $800, only 12 days after he got it. If he’d held onto that $800 stake, even as a silent partner, today he’d be worth around $22 billion.

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A few weeks ago I was flying back from Boston to NYC. When I checked in at Delta with some time to spare, the agent asked me if I wanted to get on an earlier flight. With a little legwork, I caught the 3:30pm and was home in my apartment in less than 90 minutes. Upon reflection, I was thinking about how pleased I was with this unexpected outcome. I had no expectations of getting home hours ahead of schedule, so when it happened it gave me a little rush. A happy ending and I felt great.

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David Rock, author of Your Brain At Work, believes that there are five particular qualities that we as human beings crave – Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness – the absence of which tends to make people crazy. In the case of someone being laid off, all of these qualities are under attack at once. These five qualities seem to be very important to the brain and they form the basis of a framework he calls the SCARF model.

If your job involves communicating with people (whether as a leader, parent, manager, friend) this is very useful to keep in mind.

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Remember what it was like to start in a new job? The rumbling butterflies in your stomach, the sweaty palms, the fixed whatever-you-need grin. I was reminded of this last night when our waitress took our orders at the Bowery Ballroom. This girl was absolutely beautiful, and as she apologized profusely for not knowing the menu, I could feel her discomfort and overwhelming need to please.  “This is my first day,” she confessed with a nervous smile. We joked a little to put her at ease, and you know what? She was terrific! Throughout the evening, this girl worked her ass off, never once looking tired or like she didn’t want to be there.

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As I referenced in my last newsletter, change is difficult for most of us. And trying to alter any hardwired habit usually requires a great deal of courage and individual effort. One of my clients who is about to leave his job recently described to me the feeling of quitting as similar to what he felt when he first went skydiving. The idea was something that he had carefully considered and grew excited about for years. Yet when the actual time came for him to jump, staring out into the abyss below, he was gripped with an unimaginable fear of the unknown. The instructor had to literally push him out the door.

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